Assassin.

You, who are the murderer of my emotions,

Who hides behind the cloak of a name,

Out in the open, yet unseen by the eyes,

Of kith and kin alike.

You, who taunt me incessantly,

Who poisons my head with dark thoughts,

Of ending you and cutting the ties

That enslave me to your will.

You, who I cannot go against,

Who use position and title to kill.

Does no one else see the pain that I live with?

Or are they all just scared too?

You are the assassin,

Of my emotions,

Of all my rational thoughts,

Of everything I have ever wanted to do.

You stand in the way of my dreams,

You with your dagger eyes,

With your flame-spitting tongue,

A beast by any other name.

But no, you already have a name.

I would rather that I never have to utter it,

But you expect me to call you, "Mother".

A7X

Okay, seeing as how I've been on a mega Avenged Sevenfold binge, I figured it's time to blog about them. Which is so totally uncool because that would make me a fan boy. And we all know that metal (yes, you dipshits) bands don't have fan boys.

But I've watched their All Excess DVD. Their Live in the LBC DVD. Their Live concert at the Max Pavillion. And I've been listening to nothing but their music and all their songs take turns getting stuck in my head.

So yeah, I guess I'm a fan boy.

Getting the tickets was a big deal to me because I missed them the last time they came to Singapore for Singfest. That was around the time the Avenged Sevenfold album came out and they played all the new songs from that album. So it should have been pretty cool.

The wait was pretty excruciating. The house music wasn't anything Avenged and the crowd was really docile. They only got a wee bit rowdy in between songs where the pauses were long enough to fool you into believing the band was coming out. This boring crowd you see here was giving the security outside hell before they were allowed in. So it was pretty mind-boggling to not see a circle pit.

Just before the lights went on. You have a very nicely illustrated dead dude with bat wings. Not unlike the Death Bat art that the band is so famous for.

They jumped straight into Critical Acclaim. Which everyone knew the lyrics too. Crowded got pretty hyper at this point, but as you can see from all the lights in the crowd, everyone was more concerned about recording it all down instead of getting into the moment. Including me.

M Shadows. He was awesome on the vocals that night. Whoever said he couldn't scream after his throat surgery is an asshole because this man can definitely scream. He didn't really do much to get the crowd going, but kept playing hit after hit after hit. 

That's part of the reason why I'm so into this band, because they bring a level of discipline and dedication to their music that you don't see much of nowadays.

He's been a huge influence on me, as a singer *coughwannabecough* because of his vocal acrobatics, his lyrics, and his very lame hand actions that have never changed since the band was formed. There's definitely a great deal of control that goes into his singing and you can tell that it's not just mindless throat-scraping noise. 

I guess his operation made him realise that you aren't going to get very far if you scream all the time like in the first two albums. Which is why I totally support the direction the band is headed in today.

Synyster Gates. Young Guitarist of the Year award winner. Guitar maestro extraordinaire. But he's been real lazy as of late. Haven't heard his solos in a long while. He had a mini-solo in Singapore, and he didn't play one on the LBC DVD (he, or the band, decided to play Pantera's Walk instead). 

Still he brings an awesome prescence to the stage when he's performing, because he doesn't go all out on his guitar unlike Zacky Vengeance. So it's all that discipline crap again.

The stage was empty at this point because the band wanted a repeat of what they did at Long Beach. Told us they were done, then came back after a while to play A Little Piece of Heaven, before ending the whole concert. The Rev sung the girl part of the end part, which I thought was kinda funny.

Johnny Christ and Zacky Vengeance were great during the show. Johnny for being sporting enough to repeat his rendition of Seize The Day again for us, and Zacky for the last minute song that he wrote and performed for the VERY FIRST TIME EVER in Singapore. It was a chill, laidback song that sounded as good as the rest of the set because you didn't have a 1000-strong crowded screaming out the lyrics.

Overall, I really, really enjoyed myself. Went home with ringing in my ears and partial deafness at the wedding the next day, and a completely ruined throat which I think still hasn't healed fully today.

So yeah, I'm an Avenged Sevenfold fan boy. 

Breakfast.

Gosh, it's been so long since I've cooked for myself.

I decided to have my own Bolognaise since everyone else in camp was having that for lunch. It's really fun to cook! But washing up sucks.

I think I'm going to write another poem during math later. For sure. Only this time, I'm not going to be attaching it.

7 through 9 am blues.

Is this guilt or indecision I'm feeling. Either way it's a really intriguing feeling. Never has rolling around in bed been so uncomfortable.

Getting to sleep wasn't easy either. Don't think I've ever had that much trouble trying to sleep. Normally it just happens whenever I find myself horizontal.

Gosh, what's happening to me?

Firsts.

Today was a day of Firsts. So loads of cherries popped today. =D Here they are!

1. First time I went out with Lydia.

2. First time I've been to Level 4 of Far East.

3. First time I've had proper Korean fare.

4. First time I walked into a sex shop. Which despite my initial inhibitions, really wasn't too far off from what I've already seen on the internet.

5. First time I've seen a herd of Lambos revving their engines together. They really look good in green. And red. And white. And black.

Yep. Cool day for me. 

And on a side note, I am so gonna celebrate Halloween next year. As Krauser II.

What?

I actually had a lot to type today. But I told myself I'd stay away from blogging and instead try to complete the script that's due tonight. So I've failed with that.

Plus I forgot most of what I wanted to say, so that's another failure.

Math is definitely going to be a fail. Unless this year is a repeat of last year, minus the little bit of poetic inspiration I got towards the end.

I really think I need to start challenging myself again, because deadlines aren't getting to me as much as I wish they were and living up to people's expectations is sometimes more boring than taxing because I don't even bother.

I'm afraid that I might just get so accustomed to the slack nature of NS and my job there that I'm going to have a really tough time readjusting to society when I get out. Uncle John was right, NS really does rot your brain.

Trippy.

Taka.

I need to get my script out soon. This week's supposed to be a pretty busy week for me because all the deadlines are coming up. I gotta have my script in by Friday, and I only just realised that I'll only be able to study for maths over the weekend. Which is a terrible feeling because I know I'm not going to study at all.

Just like how I'm typing this load of crap instead of my script, which I actually started on yesterday (surprise surprise). Between old episodes of Iron Chef and a smattering of movies, all of which aren't too good for the thinking person, I've done pretty much nothing besides trying to beat all 3 Need For Speeds on the PSP.

And I've been trying to find a DS emulator too. Because Pokemon rocks my socks.

I sort of gave up on that idea, because I'm determined to get a job giving tuition. And I'm going to tutor English, because I like it, and it's easy and I really feel that standards are dropping. My standards, because the army rots your brain away.

The anonymity of this blog prevents me from asking for students to tutor, but it's something I don't think I'd ever give up because I get more freedom this way.

Yeah, Journey to the West baby.

Corn.

I remember once believing that love was the best corn you could ever get.

When did I lose hold of that ideal?

Rock School.

We all know Gene Simmons for being this guy.

Arrogant.

Extravagant.

Over the top.

But what he said in the last episode of the second season of Rock School was an inspiration to me.

Is being a rock star more rewarding than being a teacher? No. Being a teacher maybe a thankless job, but these memories are going to stay with me for the rest of my life.

- Gene Simmons

I've gone through all of the Rock School episodes in these past two days, some of it has been good, and some of it has been downright rubbish. Whether or not it's all been a gigantic farce for the world to see how Gene Simmons, or Mr. Simmons, as he's so affectionately called by his pupils, can be a nice guy, doesn't really matter.

I genuinely believe that the rock legend himself took away more from the experience then he could ever have given those kids.

But let's face it. He didn't do his job very well. Little of it was within his job scope as a "music" teacher. What did he give them? He gave them the confidence to be individuals. The responsibility to be leaders. 

He gave a once in a lifetime opportunity to reach for their dreams, even if the dream is one so frowned upon by parents all over the world.

Mr Simmons didn't have it easy either, he faced criticisms, from the both the outside and from inside his classrooms as well. Imagine that. A rock veteran, worth well over a hundred million dollars, a man whose fronted one of the most influential rock bands ever, getting lip from 10 to 15 year olds.

And that, people, is a painful lesson in humility.

Yes, it was a shallow view of the world that he offered the students. It was an offer to take the first plunge into a life of debauchery. And it was an invitation to go wild and lose all your inhibitions.

Are they still accepting applications?

Alcohol.

Beer really does make you dumb. It turns your brain into fertillizer so your hair grows better. Mine feels softer now.

Thoughts for the day.

Today I saw an old woman in a head scarf flagging for the bus. And I thought of Darth Sidious. I'm sorry.